Why It’s Okay To Not Have It All Figured Out

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It's okay to not have it all together.
It’s okay to not have it all together.

Being a mother is a challenging and rewarding journey that is often accompanied by societal expectations of having everything figured out. As a mother, do you feel pressured to have the perfect home, children, and life? I sure know I do, or at least I did. But the reality is that motherhood is unpredictable, and there is no script to follow. There will be moments of joy, tears, laughter, and frustration, but it is okay not to have it all figured out. In fact, embracing imperfection and accepting the highs and lows of motherhood can lead to greater happiness and contentment for you and your children. This article will explore why it’s okay not to have it all figured out as a mom and the benefits of embracing the journey.

The Pressure of Having it All Figured Out as a Mom

One thing that is super important to understand during motherhood, is that NOBODY has it figured out. We are ALL doing the best that we can. Some things may work, and others things don’t. & That’s okay because no two persons are the same. So what may work for one child may not necessarily work for the other, and the same thing with mothers.

All of my children are SO different and have their own personalities. One child wakes up with energy running around the house, while the other is calmer and slow to wake. We all have to get acquainted and adjust to each other’s personalities and life stages. So give yourself some grace. Just as our children are learning, so are we. This is a new journey for all of us.

Motherhood is a journey that’s constantly evolving. From sleepless nights to helping your child navigate the complexities of adolescence, it’s a journey that can be both challenging and rewarding. Unfortunately, moms also have tremendous pressure to have it all figured out. The expectations of society, family, and friends can be overwhelming, leaving moms feeling guilty and inadequate when things don’t go as planned.

The Benefits of Not Having it All Figured Out: Flexibility and Resilience

Along with the challenges of trying to perfect being a mom, motherhood is unpredictable. No matter how much you plan and prepare, unexpected twists and turns will always happen. Learning to cope with change and uncertainty is a critical skill for moms. It allows them to go with the flow and adapt to new situations as they arise. Which is one of the many benefits of not having it all figured out.

One of the benefits of not having it all figured out as a mom is an ability to be flexible. When you’re not tied to a specific outcome or plan, you can adapt to new situations and learn from any mistakes that come your way. Being flexible allows you to be present in the moment and enjoy the journey rather than being fixated on a specific outcome.

The Importance of Resilience: Bouncing Back from Setbacks and Difficulties

Resilience is another critical skill for moms. It’s the ability to bounce back from setbacks and difficulties and to keep going even when things are tough. When you don’t have it all figured out, you learn to be more resilient through problem-solving and keep moving forward, no matter the challenges.

The Consequences of Striving for Perfection: Stress and Burnout

I became lackadaisical when I was trying to strive for perfection with 3 kids, 2 under 2 (now that I think about it, it sounds utterly ridiculous). I didn’t want to do anything. I was disappointed that I couldn’t do everything and be everywhere all at once. It did not make me feel go at all. Then I realized lose the expectations you have for yourself and stop expecting so much from others! It is not healthy and it just leads to resentment and insecurity.

Striving for perfection as a mom can negatively impact mental and physical health. The stress of trying to be perfect all the time can lead to anxiety, depression, and burnout. It can also impact physical health, leading to sleep disturbances, decreased immunity, and other issues.

Burnout is a real risk for moms who strive for perfection. When you’re constantly trying to keep up with unrealistic expectations, it’s easy to become exhausted and overwhelmed. Burnout can impact every area of your life, from your relationships to your job, and it can take a long time to recover.

To prevent burnout, you must first change your mindset. You must be kind to yourself always. We are our own worst critics. When you shift your perspective from perfection to productivity, everything changes. You actually get more stuff done than you did before. Perfection leads to procrastination.

The Power of Acceptance: Finding Joy in the Imperfect Moments

As a mom, you may experience chaos, frustration, and exhaustion. Getting caught up in negative emotions and feeling like you’re failing is easy. But when you learn to accept these moments and find joy in the midst of them, you can approach them with a different mindset. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, you can focus on the positives and find happiness in the small victories.

Letting go of the need for control and perfectionism is liberating. As moms, we often feel like we need to control everything, but we can’t control everything. When we let go of the need for control and perfectionism, we free ourselves from the pressure and allow ourselves to be more present at the moment. We can then focus on what truly matters and find fulfillment in the journey.

In conclusion, motherhood is a journey full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and unexpected surprises. There is no right or wrong way to navigate this journey, and it’s okay not to have everything figured out. Embracing imperfection, accepting change, and prioritizing self-care is crucial to finding happiness and contentment in motherhood. So, take a deep breath, let go of perfectionism, and celebrate your journey, one step at a time.

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