5 Reasons Why You Should Let Go of Expectations as A Mom

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Becoming a mom is a fulfilling journey. As a new mom, we are so overjoyed. But sometimes, it can be overwhelming with the expectations we place on ourselves due to society’s pressure to be a “perfect mom.” Many times, moms compare themselves with others on social media, which can affect a mother’s mental health and well-being. It’s time to let go of these unrealistic expectations and embrace the imperfections of motherhood.

In this post, we will explore 5 reasons why you should let go of expectations as a mom to release the need for control and perfection, nurture your own self-care and mental well-being, and adopt a more flexible and adaptable approach to parenting. Doing so can create a healthier and happier environment for ourselves and our children.

1. Everything isn’t what it seems to be

Please be mindful that people only show you what they want you to see. Social media images and videos show moms who effortlessly juggle a career, maintain a clean home, and raise flawless children. Do not get caught up in the façade of something you only see for 20 seconds. There are 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 30 days a month. You aren’t even getting a quarter glimpse into someone’s life. This unrealistic expectation and comparison sets us up for failure and leaves us feeling like we’re constantly falling short.

Being a mom is messy, exhausting, and chaotic. Every day is different. It’s like watching a show and seeing where the storyline goes, filled with twists and turns. And that’s the beauty of it. It builds character, strength, and resilience.

 

2. You Can’t Control Everything

We like to think we control every aspect of our and our children’s lives, but we can’t control everything. Even though we have birthed our children, they are their own individuals. They have their own lives to live, and they may not want to follow in your footsteps, and that’s okay. Don’t force your children to live up to your failed dreams. Let them be who they are going to be. They have their own personalities, thoughts, and feelings. Trying to micromanage their every move only leads to frustration and disappointment. It’s time to loosen the reins and let your children navigate their paths.

Releasing the need for perfection is like taking a deep breath of fresh air. It frees us from the chains of unrealistic expectations and control. It allows us to embrace who we are and not take ourselves so seriously. So let’s give ourselves permission to let go of perfection and enjoy the journey with all its ups and downs.

You can enjoy the journey by prioritizing your well-being. When we focus too much on being the perfect mom, we neglect our needs, leading to burnout and exhaustion. This isn’t healthy for our mental or children as we may begin to feel more annoyed and frustrated by our children’s behavior. To prevent burnout, prioritize your well-being by practicing self-care.

3. Expectations Keep You Stuck

Expectations keep you constantly wanting instead of acting or creating the life you wish to simply by being. Expectations are values you place on others and things you want and expect from them. You compare yourself and your children to other families when you desire something. Instead, focus on yourself and what you intend and expect from yourself and make it happen. As a mom, it’s essential to create the life you want for yourself and your family, and that life looks different for every family.

Cultivate A Growth Mindset

It’s essential to cultivate a growth mindset as a mom because it allows creativity to flow to develop other abilities that you have. It creates an opportunity to learn and grow with your child teaching resilience and how to navigate through detours. Let’s face it: motherhood rarely goes according to plan. Cultivating a growth mindset, embracing imperfections, and accepting that things may not always go smoothly will save you a lot of stress and disappointment. Learn to adapt and go with the flow when life throws unexpected curveballs your way. Remember, imperfections and detours are what make your journey unique and beautiful.

4. Experience is your best teacher

Being a mom is undoubtedly one of life’s most challenging yet rewarding experiences. No amount of books, advice from others, or even personal preparations can fully equip you for the journey that motherhood entails. It is through firsthand experience that we truly learn and grow as moms. After all, everyone’s experience in motherhood is different. Each child is different, so all advice and tips will not apply to every mother or child. Different strokes for different folks. This quote surely applies to our expectations for ourselves and our children.

Experience teaches us patience, resilience, and unconditional love like no other teacher can. The lessons we learn while being a mom are invaluable – they shape our instincts and help us navigate the unique challenges each stage of parenting brings. So, embrace the messy moments, and reflect on your triumphs and failures as a mom – because experience truly is the best teacher on this incredible journey of motherhood!

5. Fostering gratitude and appreciation for what is already present

When you foster gratitude and appreciation for what is already present in your everyday life, you will begin to experience inner peace. Inner peace is a secret ingredient to living a fulfilling and happy life. That feeling of calm and contentment resides within us, even in the midst of chaos. When we cultivate inner peace, we become masters of our emotions rather than being constantly swayed by external circumstances. It allows us to approach challenges clearly, making wise decisions instead of succumbing to panic or stress. Ultimately, nurturing inner peace will enable us to live more authentically, connect deeply with others, and thrive in all aspects of life.

In the end, letting go of expectations as a mom can be daunting. Still, it is a necessary step forward in feeling liberated and achieving genuine happiness. Remember: the level of freedom you experience is directly proportional to the expectations you can discard.

As composer and poet Maya Angelou once said, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Take this advice to heart and never believe that the only way to find joy is through expectations that are impossible to reach. Instead, lean into the uncomfortable and choose freedom. It is the only way to fully embrace the infinite possibilities that life has to offer. The rewards are within reach, so why not take the first step and begin your journey of letting go?

FAQs

1. Is it okay to have expectations as a mom?

Having some expectations as a mom is natural and can help guide our actions and decisions. However, it is essential to distinguish between realistic expectations and those influenced by societal pressure or perfectionism. Striving for unrealistic ideals can lead to feelings of inadequacy and stress. Finding a balance and being gentle with ourselves is essential when our expectations aren’t met.

2. How can I let go of societal expectations and comparisons?

Letting go of societal expectations and comparisons starts with recognizing their impact on our mental health. Remember that social media often portrays a curated version of motherhood, and it’s important not to compare our behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlight reel. Practice self-compassion, focus on your journey, and surround yourself with a supportive network of moms who uplift and encourage each other.

3. How can I prioritize self-care and mental well-being as a busy mom?

Prioritizing self-care as a mom can be challenging but essential for our overall well-being. Start by carving out small pockets of time for yourself each day, whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or indulging in a hobby. Seek support from your partner, family, or friends to help share parenting responsibilities. Remember, taking care of yourself allows you to be a better caregiver to your children.

4. How can flexible parenting benefit my child?

Flexible parenting allows children to develop resilience, adaptability, and problem-solving skills. By letting go of rigid expectations, we enable our children to explore their interests and abilities, fostering their independence and self-confidence. It also creates a more open and communicative parent-child relationship, where children feel safe expressing their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment.

5. What if I’m worried about being judged by others if I let go of expectations?

The fear of judgment is a common concern. Still, it’s essential to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being over the opinions of others. Remember that every parent’s journey is unique, and you have the right to parent in a way that feels authentic and supportive to you and your child. Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or parenting communities who understand and respect your choices. Trust your instincts and have confidence in making the best decisions for your family.

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